Why am I mad? It's simple...Because of these people...Aha!! I don't care if you think that I'm a bad girl but I really hate them. Now...Hmmm..I'm sorry for that...Yeah..so sorry...I hope you understand what I'm feeling right now..
My niece just got my drawing plates wet. I hate. I am working hard to draw and make my homework and she came in and my work is wet. Wet with water. I have to start all over again.
My head is aching. I haven't slept for days. My eyes are too tired and it's affecting my head.
My mom is the worst of all. Yeah she's worst. Everyday, I am mad because of the things she always say to me. Because of the things she blames me. I hate it and my life sucks. Why?
- First, she enrolled me to the school which I really do not like. I tried hard to cop[e up with it but still I'm not fond of it. It hurts my feelings thinking that I study at that school and all my dreams got washed up.
- Second, everytime it's raining she's always mad at me because I do not bring umbrella. How can I bring one when she won't buy me a nice umbrella.
- Third, at night when I am home..after those tiring days at school...after studying too hard, I don't have time to sleep well..She's mad at me for watching the tv, staying here in the computer...Yep..I know she should be mad but if you think at it...I'm too bored and tired of studying hard. Computer, watching few (specifically only 3 programs which takes 1 and half hour a day) programs at the television and listening to my preferred music on my player..makes me comfortable. That's my way of resting..shifting my mind to relax and not think about school...It's a thing I do so that I will be in a good condition and those are the things which makes her mad about me.
I don't understand why everything turned out to be so bad when I'm doing my best here...Maybe or rather not...really is a good one..Hmmm..God has plans for me. It's not my preference but it's the way He wants me to choose this way. I want to be alone while I'm still mad and crying rather than face them and hurt their feelings and do bad things. I would rather suffer alone right now than be a bad girl. Using my blog to express my feelings right now. Using this piece of site that will make me feel better.
Hmmm..while doing this, I am praying that God will calm me. That after this, I would be fine and I can start on my homework again. It's hard to do this things but I have to.
The one motivating me to study hard is to bring glory to God and for someone out there. For my God's gift. I'm not doing this for my family. My biological family which I ahte right now. I hope this pain and hatred will be gone soon so that I will be in a good mood again and a good person God wants me to be.
Everything slipped right now to the things I was not expecting. I am not surprised but I am thanking God for giving me my peace of mind and my peaceful environment for being alone here in my sister's room.
I'm such a bad girl right now...I'm sorry for being one but It's very hard. This pain...It's too much and I hate it...
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