Family War

Everyday, the feelings I am acquiring through my family goes bad. I don't know why. I hate it. We are not like this before but now everything's change.

I really don't like it. Although most of the times I'm the one who starts the fight. I'll admit that I'm lazy when it comes to house chores but I have a reason. I'm too busy studying. I also use my time here in the net. Yeah. That's terribly bad. But I don't like to do the chores...sometimes..^^ But if I'm in a good mood, I am doing it.

Also, they forced me to study in a school which I don't like. Though many people says that there is a reason why I am studying there right now. There is a purpose that God has given me. Hmmm, Right now, honestly, I am thinking of transfering to another school. To the school that will fill my desires. Although that means that I have to break the purpose. But I am also hesitating because the one I like will graduate in the same year I will if I will not ransfer. I mean if I will transfer, we will not graduate on the same year. Also, I will waste one year of studying.

But I really want to transfer..I hate it...I hate myself for not fighting for what I want when I still had the time.

This morning, I had my devotion. Before everything (about transferring in another school) happened, the devotion is about everything too. Yeah..^^...Hmm it says that ...I should be lucky because:

First I don't have a nice bag and shoes, but at least I ahve one.

Second, I am not studying in a popular school but at least I am studying and I am one of the top students right now.

Those are the two things that I had acquired...Hmmm..

I don't know what I will do now....Ah!!..It's too hard...But I know that God will help me. He will help me decide. He is the only One that I have and I should be focused to. He is the only One who can help me...