Lifeless,meaningless

I am lifeless. Everything in me is now meaningless. As I live in days without seeing or talking to you, my life became so boring. I always talk to you. You won't respond.

Another thing that makes me live my life as lifeless is my moods. I am not myself. I don't speak. I'm just reading my notes. I'm also reading my book. I'm stuck up in my room studying while listening to Paramore on my playlist. I'm doing the things I normally do but there is really something wrong.

My environment is so peaceful but then I can feel something. This is bad. I know it. I have to stop it but I can't.

I'm giving rules to myself about not thinking about things that makes me feel blank. I'm forbidding myself not tho think about you nor anything that represents you. The more I try harder the more I feel blank.

This feeling must stop now. I have to focus. Tomorrow is my exam and I'm so not into it. I hate living like this.