We are Just Friends...It's a lie

Last night my bestfriend, me and a friend of ours talked because of a bad thing that happened. We ended at 10:30pm. I don't know if I will be happy that I'm with him or I'll be sad because he will avoid me now.

At first, the two of them talked to me about some things that are about the church. I told them that I can't talk without food so we went to a burger stand and bought some. I did not eat because I already ate a baked macaroni in Greenwich because I am sad. Then after we bought burger and softdrinks we sat on a bench in my school when I was still a high school student.

While they are asking me about what I feel or if I am mad I said that I am not. They also gave me an advice that I should go with some of my friends to prevent a fight with some other members.

They also asked me if I like my bestfriend but I told them that we are just friends. I really hate myself because I have to lie to them. I don't want my bestfriend to avoid me so I just said that we are just friends.

I can't tell him the truth because I am afraid that he will avoid me.

One more thing that made me sad is that he will start to go to other members and he said that he will avoid us first. I really became sad after hearing that because I will miss him. Even if I can see him I can't talk to him because he will go now. He said that it won't last long but still I want to be close to him. He is my friend and at the same time I like him but I can't tell it o him.

It's really bad that I told a lie that we are just friends and that I will wait after 4 years but actually if he likes me I will love him more but I can't say it. I told a lie. I hate myself.

I will still be here. I hope even if we can't talk to each other he will still reply to my messages. I really hope.

I know that he will like me too someday. I believe. I trust him. I will still wait for him until the day he likes me too. I love him so much.

I'm sorry if I have to tell a lie but it's better than telling the truth and watch him avoid me. I can't stand that so I just decided to tell him that but deep inside I really love him.

While walking home, I saw one star. There is only one star that night. I wished that he loves me too even if I lied that we are just friends.