Stay I MiSseD YoU

This is my song for the week. I love this part:

"And now that I am leaving
Now I know that I did something wrong cause I missed you
Yeah, I missed you."

and this part too:

"Lover's in love and the other's run away
Lover is crying cause the other won't stay."

I like that part because I don't know if I will be the one leaving. I mean if I will already avoid him. I miss him so much but I have no choice. Maybe I'm just the one who needs to go. I mean I will be the one to make the first move by going or avoiding him.

It hurts but I think my decision is final. I heard this last night and I started to cry. I miss my bestfriend but now I have to leave. I don't know if my decision is right. I don't have the courage to face him tomorrow. I don't know if I will go or not.

The lover's in love (that's me in love to him) and the other won't stay (that's him because he chose to leave me). The lover's crying ( I am crying because he left) cause the other won't stay.

Stay I Missed You
New Found Glory/Lisa Loeb

You say I only hear what I want to
And you say I talk so all the time-so

And I thought what I felt was simple
And I thought that I don't belong
And now that I am leaving
Now I know that I did something wrong cause I missed you
Yeah, I missed you

And you say I only hear what I want to
I don't listen hard
I don't pay attention to the distance that you're running or to
Anyone, anywhere
I don't understand if you really care
I'm only hearing negative, no no no

So I turned the radio on I turned the radio up
And this woman was singing my song
Lover's in love and the other's run away
Lover is crying cause the other won't stay
And some of us hover when we weep for the other who
was dying
Since the day they were born well
Well this is not that
I think that I'm throwing but I'm thrown

And I thought I'd live forever but now I'm not so sure
You try to tell me that I'm clever but that won't take me anyhow
Or anywhere with you

And you said that I was naive
And I thought that I was strong
I thought "hey I can leave, I can leave"
But now I know that I was wrong cause I missed you
Yeah I missed you

You said "you caught me cause you want me
And one day I'll let you go"
You try to give away a keeper or keep me cause you're know
you're
just too scared to lose

And you say, "stay"

You say I only hear what I want to.

Death Note's done so He is??

After 14 days of watching this anime, I feel relaxed. I love the ending even if he dies.

I really like Yagami Light although being Kira he still is a good guy. Why? It is because of episode 12, entitled Love, that he showed his good attitude. I like him because he gave a chance to love Misa. I mean he tried to show his love to a girl that loves her.

In L's part, i also like him. He is very smart. I hate it when he died because it is a usual day. It's raining and he already solved the case but still he didn't have a chance to prove it to other. Although I cried when he died, I am still happy that he died without bloodshed.

Back to the last part, I really love the ending because of that tune. I don't know if Misa died or it just ended like that.

Thanks for my bestfriend who introduced this to me. Although he is gone now, I mean he don't contact me anymore. I'd like to thank him so much for giving me a nice anime to watch.
I want to talk to him but I can't because I have to give him space. Like what my classmate told me, I have to give him space and time to be alone with himself because every time he needs me I'm always there and when I needs him he's not there. Although it hurts me I have to give him space for our friendship to remain. I just have to be patient. I will still wait for him.

With Me - Sum41

This is my song for my bestfriend even though he doesn't know. He will never know. He's gone.

I don't want this moment to ever end
Where everythings nothing without you
I'll wait here forever just to, to see you smile
'Cause it's true, I am nothing without you

Through it all, I made my mistakes
I stumble and fall, but I mean these words

I want you to know
With everything I won't let this go, these words are my heart and soul
I'll hold on to this moment you know, 'as I bleed my heart out to show
And I won't let go

Thoughts read unspoken, forever in doubt
Pieces of memories fall to the ground
I know what I didn't have so, I won't let this go
'Cause it's true, I am nothing without you

All the streets where I walked alone, with nowhere to go
I've come to an end

I want you to know
With everything I won't let this go, these words are my heart and soul
I'll hold on to this moment you know, 'as I bleed my heart out to show
And I won't let go

In front of your eyes, it falls from the skies
When you don't know what you're looking to find
In front of your eyes, it falls from the skies
When you just never know what you will find (what you will find)

I don't want this moment to ever end
Where everythings nothing without you

I want you to know
With everything I won't let this go, these words are my heart and soul
I'll hold on to this moment you know, 'as I bleed my heart out to show
And I won't let go (I want you to know)
With everything I won't let this go, these words are my heart and soul
I'll hold on to this moment you know, 'as I bleed my heart out to show
And I won't let go

We are Just Friends...It's a lie

Last night my bestfriend, me and a friend of ours talked because of a bad thing that happened. We ended at 10:30pm. I don't know if I will be happy that I'm with him or I'll be sad because he will avoid me now.

At first, the two of them talked to me about some things that are about the church. I told them that I can't talk without food so we went to a burger stand and bought some. I did not eat because I already ate a baked macaroni in Greenwich because I am sad. Then after we bought burger and softdrinks we sat on a bench in my school when I was still a high school student.

While they are asking me about what I feel or if I am mad I said that I am not. They also gave me an advice that I should go with some of my friends to prevent a fight with some other members.

They also asked me if I like my bestfriend but I told them that we are just friends. I really hate myself because I have to lie to them. I don't want my bestfriend to avoid me so I just said that we are just friends.

I can't tell him the truth because I am afraid that he will avoid me.

One more thing that made me sad is that he will start to go to other members and he said that he will avoid us first. I really became sad after hearing that because I will miss him. Even if I can see him I can't talk to him because he will go now. He said that it won't last long but still I want to be close to him. He is my friend and at the same time I like him but I can't tell it o him.

It's really bad that I told a lie that we are just friends and that I will wait after 4 years but actually if he likes me I will love him more but I can't say it. I told a lie. I hate myself.

I will still be here. I hope even if we can't talk to each other he will still reply to my messages. I really hope.

I know that he will like me too someday. I believe. I trust him. I will still wait for him until the day he likes me too. I love him so much.

I'm sorry if I have to tell a lie but it's better than telling the truth and watch him avoid me. I can't stand that so I just decided to tell him that but deep inside I really love him.

While walking home, I saw one star. There is only one star that night. I wished that he loves me too even if I lied that we are just friends.

A Rainy Night

Today June 21, 2008 at 7:00pm, I am so happy. Haha. After our wonderful and spirituous practice of our Praise and Worship in Church, we went home but this night is different from the other nights.

I walked with my bestfriend up to the Mercury Drug. We talked so many things but it rained so hard so we were stuck up at a bank(RURAL BANK OF CAINTA) to cover ourselves from being wet.

I think we spent 15 minutes standing there but at least we talked. It's sad becasue I'm the only one to bring a topic but I'm really happy because I had a chance to be with him for a long time.

We talked about pizza, his course, his friendster, my classmates and things that are usual.

It's really raining hard and we saw some of our churchmates. I thought he will go with them and leave me alone but he did not. He said that I will be left alone. We also tried to run in the rain but he said that I will have a sick. Actually I have one, cough and two days ago I have a fever. He knew it so we did not run to the rain.

I asked him to remove his glasses because I want to see his face but I did not actually say that I just said that we have the same marks on our nose.

I also asked him about their haircut policy in their school and I really like his hair because it's natural. He won't comb it or maybe he does but only sometimes.

He's really quite but when he smiles he smiles so very cute. I like his eyes even if sometimes his hair covers his eyes. I also like him playing guitar. I hope he will really play Canon on my birthday. Haha.

I forgot to tell, I also pulled him away from the streets several times because he might get an accident. I asked him why he did not avoid the cars and jeepneys but he answered me that those vehicles won't really hit him because they will pay a lot for him. I laughed but I really pulled him again after that because the truck doesn't care about him and I told him that he should avoid it but he still continues hehe. I'm still happy about that hehe.

I am really happy today. Thanks for the rain and for God for giving me that moment. I hope he will like me too but we are friends so I will really wait for the time where he will like me too.

Like a firefly whic has a light to find his soulmate, I will also wait for him because i know he is the one.

It's really sad though the fireflies have light if they didn't find their soulmate they die and to know if they are near to put into death their lights fades away. I hope my light can wqait for 4 years for him. I hope that 4 years is a time preparation for him to like me too. I believe that we will be together.

Thanks for this rainy night even if the rainy morning was bad I liked the night most. Even if there are no stars or moon, I am still happy. Thanks for making one of my dreams come true.

Paramore - When it Rains

And when it rains on this side of town
It touches everything
Just say it again and mean it
We don't miss a thing
You made yourself a bed at the bottom
of the blackest hole (blackest hole)
and convinced yourself
that it's not the reason you don't see the sun anymore

and no (oh) how could you do it
(oh I) I never saw it coming
(no oh) I need an ending
So why can't you stay
Just long enough to explain

And when it rains
You always find an escape
Just running away
From all of the ones who love you
From everything
You made yourself a bed at the bottom
Of the blackest hole (blackest hole)
And you'll sleep till May
You'll say that you don't want to see the sun anymore

and no (oh) how could you do it
(oh I) I never saw it coming
(no oh) I need an ending
So why can't you stay
Just long enough to explain

(Explain your side, Take my side)
Take these chances to turn it around
Take these chances we'll make it somehow
And Take these chances and turn it around
Just turn it around.

and no (oh) how could you do it
(oh I) I never saw it coming
no (oh) how could you do it
(oh I) I never saw it coming
no (oh) how could you do it
(oh I) I never saw it coming and
(no oh) I need an ending
So why can't you stay
Just long enough to explain

You can take your time, take my time.

Oh Star - Paramore

I like paramore..haha..this song is one of my favorites..it's so sad...T_T

Oh Star


Oh star fall down on me
Let me make a wish upon you
Hold on, let me think
Think of what I'm wishing for

Wait, don't go away
Just not yet
Cause I thought
I had it
But I forget

And I won't let you fall away
From me
You will never fade
And I won't let you fall away
From me
You will never fade away from me

And now I let my dreams consume me
And tell me what to think
But hold on
Hold on
What am I dreaming?

Wait, don't go away
Just not yet
Cause I thought
That I had it
But I forget

And I won't let you fall away
From me
You will never fade away
I won't let you fall away
You will never fade away

And I won't let you fall away
You will never fade away
And I won't let you fall away from me
You will never...

Oh star fall down on me. 

Sad Story in English

Sad Story
Loveholic

I really love this song. The English version is really touching. I hope you like it.

It's a sad story
Even when unusual there's shining sunlight that fills
Can't stay at this day
You dreamed and came on this beautiful day
The uncalled tears find its way

In the mouth was cold words
Blocking all the light
Even when grazed by wind you cry so bad
Cause you're breakin' my heart

How should I know rain comes again
Tell me why you're leaving me again
Please don't go! Stay here however (Now & forever)
Come back to me

It's a sad story
Your dream only went away on this beautiful day
The tears find its way

Cruel and tired of this star and cry so bad
Cause you're breakin' my heart

I can not breathe
I won't be healed
I want to see what I was
I mist be blind
I want to get back to that light

He's S and I'm C

We had our leadership seminar on our church every Tuesday night. The seminar is about solving people's puzzle where we will learn to recognize what type of personality we have.

We took a test on our first night and I learned that I am a C or a conscientious type while he is a S which is the steadiness type. That means that we are not that compatible. But I still believe we are because last night when we had our Third day, the seminar is about the S type. I found out that we are the same and I'm happy because of that.

Actually I have S character too and he has an I character as a sub.

Hmmm it's really difficult to explain but try to get a copy of a book entitled:


Solving's People Puzzle by Gary English.

It's really fun knowing yourselves and trying to care or understand others.

wrOng deCision

ohh too bad. I had a wrong decision. If i only listen to my heart one year ago then we could be classmates. I really hate my changing mind. ohhh...

I wish I could turn back the time but no one can. Hmmm i just think of God's purpose why we didn't become classmates.

Hayyyy..my heart is crying....T_T

a woRd that staRts with P

I saw this word in the dictionary. I am really amazed because I didn't know that there's such a word as pop-in-jay.

I am looking for a word that starts with p that can describe my friend because I want to have a code name with him. It should start with P because my favorite number is 7 and when I will send a message on him I will just have to press 7 which symbolizes letter P.

There back to Pop-in-jay, I saw this word accidentally and I chose this because it means a conceited person. Hmmm he is not that kind of person because he knows how to think of others first. I just chose that because I really like it although the meaning is not that good.

I saw other words that starts with P and this are pizza, pimiento, pepperoni and pepper. I didn't chose them because I really like pop-in-jay. But these words are really related to each other because my friend's favorite food is PIZZA. i like to make one for him..hehe..

Ok that's it for today..haha I think it's nonsense but I just want to share a new word for you. Thanks for dropping by.

His First Comment...ㅠ_ㅠ

The Day he said Goodbye!!!

This picture was taken the day he said goodbye. But actually he never said goodbye. It was our graduation day. Thanks to Ponio for this picture.

Today, June 13, 2008 was my happiest day. My first love gave me my first comment in friendster. I'm really happy because I waited for seven months for his comment.

He made his own friendster last November 2007 because he will go to Japan as an exchange student for 2 weeks. I added him in his friend's list and luckily he accepted it.

I sent him plenty of comments but today at 5:11pm, while I was in church, he sent me his first comment. I am really happy for that because at last my dream came true.

Even if we are friends now, 'm really happy that he remembered me. If ever you are reading this thank you so much for that comment. I will treasure that forever. Thanks my friend....^_^

A NicE gIft FrOm hIm

I really like watching movies. Actually I am stuck up at the computer when I'm bored and watch movies that I like. Most of my favorite movies are Korean because they are really touching.

Nowadays, Korean movies are revived by the Americans. I don't like it when they are copying the Korean movies because they can make their own stories right?

Well back to my original thought. My bestfriend gave me a site where I can watch English movies. I really enjoyed it because I can watch plenty of movies.

The first movie I watched in that site was The Simpsons Movie. I's really funny but I didn't enjoyed watching it in that site because loading is one of my problems but as i said i love that site because my bestfriend gave it to me.

The second movie I watched was 27 dresses which made me cry. Thanks to my bestfriend I can watch plenty of movies.

By the way if you want o watch English movies here are the sites I know:

• watch-movies.net = My bestfriend's Gift

• crunchyroll.com = where i watch Korean movies, anime, dramas and commercial

Canon in D

Canon's Love Story

My Sassy Girl is the one who introduced me to Canon. This instrumental piece really makes me cry. My friend said that I am weird because this type doesn't make people cry but me I really cry when I hear this.

Maybe because I remember all the hard days I have with a person in my past. I don't want to mention the name because once I did I know that people will know him. It really makes me sad whenever I listen to this.

Thanks so much for the song. I really want to thank George Winston or Johann Pachelbel for making this piece. I don't know much about this piece but I really want this one. I tried to play this on a piano but I can with my right hand only. I want to find the man who will play this with me and be my left-hand.

I think I found him but he knows it on guitar only. He promised that he will try to play this piece on my birthday and I can't wait for that day to come.

I found out that this piece was always played on weddings but maybe if I die I want this to be played on my funeral...haha..^_^

Here is a video of Pachelbel's Canon:
I hope you will like it..^_^

Oji Karasuma

School Rumble is one of my favorite anime. I really like watching this anime because it was like my love story. I like a guy who is very serious and not that handsome who is the same as character of Oji Karasuma. He looks cool because he is intelligent, quiet-type, plays guitar and plays basketball.

with one look, he looks like a dumb but no he is not. I like this boy so much...haha..^_^

Although Karasuma's character was very serious I still like him when he makes things that makes Tenma happy. Like when Tenma was hungry hegave him food and he when he walked with Tenma home.

Even if he don't smile a lot, I still like him because like I told you my bestfriend was like him. He don't talk and smile a lot but deep inside he is such a nice and loving person.

Maybe I still don't know him a lot but I know that even if he is a shy-type he still talks and gives you advice when you need it.

For my conclusion, I just really like Oji Karasuma for he is such a nice anime character. He really resembles my friend. They are the same. A rocker, shy, quiet, naughty, cute person....

I like you alwayss..^_^

Sad, Lonely, Alone

Yesterday was a Monday, June 09, 2008, we had our practice for our short play. I was with my friend of course and I enjoyed half of the day because I saw him but now I'm sad because even if I saw him yesterday I miss him.

I don't know why I am like this. I hate myself because I think that he don't like me when I should be an optimistic. I have these thoughts in my mind while waiting for his text message but I don't think that he will reply.

I'll still be waiting. That's what I'm telling to myself to prevent the sadness. I also think of happy things and listen to Pachelbel's Canon which is in rock version. He introduced that to me.

I hope I can see him this night. hmmm very sad.

First Day of College Life: Misery

My first day of class was not good. Actually, I woke up at 3:50am and ate foods, take a bath and prayed.

While walking on dark streets, I was scared because a bird was following me. I can't see it but I can hear the bird. I prayed and sang Jesus, Lover of My Soul just to not focus my mind on the bird.

Then, I went straight to the church to have a dawn watch. After that, I went to school. I stayed there for 30 minutes and a man came and told us that we don't have classes today.

I was really in a bad mood because I wake up very early and I am excited to go to school but there are no classes. I hate that University ever since. I really don't want to study there but I know God have plans for me.

My Heart is in Pain again.

I was sad this afternoon so I decided to get my Korean CD. First, I picked My Sassy Girl and watched my favorite part, the one when Jun Ji-Hyun played Pachelbel’s Canon to Cha Tae-Hyun on their 100th day, but after that part I switched the movie to Il Mare because I watched this movie a very long time ago.

My heart is really in pain because every time that I miss Justin, who is my first love that don't like me, I watch sad movies. While watching this movie I chose to write a blog about what I usually do when my heart is breaking. I also remembered my riend because I want him to fix my heart. I want to make a blog to tell my bestfriend that if he will be with me these are things I do.

Hmm..first, I got this thought when Jun Ji-Hyun was sad and he made Lee Jung Jae the things she do when she was sad like drinking beer and riding to carnival rides and walking alone and drinking wine. I want that to happen to me too...hehe..Influenced by movies.

Here are the things I do when my heart is broken or when I remember that boy:

• First, I picked movies to watch.
  
• Then, I watch the movie.
• I will make a cold coffee, juice or just water.
• Then, I'll get a biscuit, crackers, or sometimes I will cook meals and pause the movie for a while.
• After, that I continue watching the movie and drinks or eats in a slow way.
• Then, when I remember him on some scenes you can see me cry..hehe

Ok, back to the movie, I really have this thoughts in my head while watching these movies and I don't know why. I'm really sad today because my friend did not replied to me last night. I realized that I was like Jun Ji-Hyun who writes letter to Lee Jung Jae when she remembers her first love. I wanted to text a message to my bestfriend but I can't because I think he knows already my feelings. I wanted him to comfort me too.

I'm really sad because maybe I miss him (my friend becasue he made me forget Justin) so much. "Life is so hard because in a moment you can feel that your special someone likes you but when time passes by you will see him with another girl and the thought that he just thinks that you are friends comes back to your mind."
Sometimes, I think of KISMET, which means destiny, because that's the reason how we met and I also think of the quote that "Destiny is nothing if you have no effort." Things go back to my mind that I am giving so much effort to find the right man or I am rushing myself to love someone again just to forget him. I don't know the cure for this and it really hurts my feelings.

I don't know what's wrong to me or maybe I know but I'm just denying it. I want someone to read my blog and give me advices but I don't have. I don't know what title to give...I don't know why I'm like this...It really hurts me....I'm writing this things to ease the pain even if it's nonsense.

I think my work for today is chaotic. I write things that's supposed to be in unity or in one thought in a topic but I wrote so many things that's not supposed to be here.

Well, the main thought of this blog is that I'm sad and I want someone to comfort me. To be specific, I want my friend to comfort me. Eat cake with me. Stay here and talk to me. But i guess or in reality he is not willing to do that because I can't say this words to him.