My Heart is in Pain again.

I was sad this afternoon so I decided to get my Korean CD. First, I picked My Sassy Girl and watched my favorite part, the one when Jun Ji-Hyun played Pachelbel’s Canon to Cha Tae-Hyun on their 100th day, but after that part I switched the movie to Il Mare because I watched this movie a very long time ago.

My heart is really in pain because every time that I miss Justin, who is my first love that don't like me, I watch sad movies. While watching this movie I chose to write a blog about what I usually do when my heart is breaking. I also remembered my riend because I want him to fix my heart. I want to make a blog to tell my bestfriend that if he will be with me these are things I do.

Hmm..first, I got this thought when Jun Ji-Hyun was sad and he made Lee Jung Jae the things she do when she was sad like drinking beer and riding to carnival rides and walking alone and drinking wine. I want that to happen to me too...hehe..Influenced by movies.

Here are the things I do when my heart is broken or when I remember that boy:

• First, I picked movies to watch.
  
• Then, I watch the movie.
• I will make a cold coffee, juice or just water.
• Then, I'll get a biscuit, crackers, or sometimes I will cook meals and pause the movie for a while.
• After, that I continue watching the movie and drinks or eats in a slow way.
• Then, when I remember him on some scenes you can see me cry..hehe

Ok, back to the movie, I really have this thoughts in my head while watching these movies and I don't know why. I'm really sad today because my friend did not replied to me last night. I realized that I was like Jun Ji-Hyun who writes letter to Lee Jung Jae when she remembers her first love. I wanted to text a message to my bestfriend but I can't because I think he knows already my feelings. I wanted him to comfort me too.

I'm really sad because maybe I miss him (my friend becasue he made me forget Justin) so much. "Life is so hard because in a moment you can feel that your special someone likes you but when time passes by you will see him with another girl and the thought that he just thinks that you are friends comes back to your mind."
Sometimes, I think of KISMET, which means destiny, because that's the reason how we met and I also think of the quote that "Destiny is nothing if you have no effort." Things go back to my mind that I am giving so much effort to find the right man or I am rushing myself to love someone again just to forget him. I don't know the cure for this and it really hurts my feelings.

I don't know what's wrong to me or maybe I know but I'm just denying it. I want someone to read my blog and give me advices but I don't have. I don't know what title to give...I don't know why I'm like this...It really hurts me....I'm writing this things to ease the pain even if it's nonsense.

I think my work for today is chaotic. I write things that's supposed to be in unity or in one thought in a topic but I wrote so many things that's not supposed to be here.

Well, the main thought of this blog is that I'm sad and I want someone to comfort me. To be specific, I want my friend to comfort me. Eat cake with me. Stay here and talk to me. But i guess or in reality he is not willing to do that because I can't say this words to him.