an excerpt from my notes.

I was and is in that state. A state of being alone. Alone for nobody's home. All alone while suffering from a pain inflicted on my heart. I am and should suffer alone for no one here and no one from my friends knows that I'm not happy. That I'm mourning. Mourning for I don't know if he cares. I can't eat nor can I find my sleep as a rest. Why does he not respond?

terminating myself.

I'm not eating.
I'm not having enough sleep.
I drink coffee.
I'm suffering.
I'm mourning for something unexplainable.

Heartaches?
Chest pain?

Who cares?
No one.

No one because no one knows what's happening.

Reposting (Rainbow at Lunch)

Omo!..Cool rainbow..

A bit of the sun.

Arch..^^

Can you see the rainbow?
I did not get a full circle shot so it's a halfway only.

The rainbow in the sun!

Zoomed version!!

Look at the rainbow..haha..it's very near to the sun's core.

Zoomed version again.
Half of the sun.
Half of the rainbow.

This lunch, I went outside the house to fetch my other classmate. I looked at the sky and surprised to see a rainbow. It's a rainbow but it's very different. Haha. Yeah. To different. Because the rainbow is in full circle and it surrounds the sun. Haha. Too COOL. I hope everyone noticed it. Haha. I am really blessed to see a rainbow.

This dawn, I woke up and heard the rain. I prayed that the rain will stop this morning because I don't have an umbrella. When I woke up by 7:30am, it's not raining but there's no sun. Haha. It's cold this morning, a little different from yesterday because yesterday is a very hot day.

By 10am, the sun was visible. It's hot by that time and by 11:30 am, me and my classmates went to our house to watch a movie. Hmmm.

I was really surpriesed to see it. Haha. The first thing I did is to contact and send a message to the person I like. I told him that there's a rainbow but it's too different. Haha. He did not respond anyway but I hope he saw it. ^^

Hmm. I toook out my sister's digicam and shot some pics. ^^. I hope you enjoy looking at it. Thank God for the rainbow. He sure knows how to make me happy. Haha. Yesterday's not a good day but today, he gave a rainbow to me. ^^. I really thank God and praise Him for His wonderful works and ways to move me.

Clear Afternoon!

I thought it was going to rain. Haha. Like what I said on my previous post. But it's not. The sun is alive. Haha. I looked at the window and I can see a nice view. More of orange but really, at 3pm the sky is grey. Haha. Thank God it did not rain.

Even though I'm at home, I don't like to rain because it gives me a melancholic feeling. Haha. I don't know why but really I feel that way.

Right now, I'm listening to the songs in my blog. Haha. Hale!. Hmmm..I miss him. Hehe. He's not talking to me again. Like the days when he was mad at me. I don't know why he does not talk to me and it strikes to my heart. Haha. (Some cold words.) Hay!!!..What could I possibly do?

That's all

Haha. I got it. Hmm. It's not yet 4pm but I posted all the things I think I should post right now. Come on!. Let's drink coffee. I love coffee especially when it's cold today. Haha. I think it's going to rain again. Hmm.

Thanks for everything!
I love God
. ^^.
I love the rainbow
and
I love ...

Hope everyone is blessed today.

School of Rock

I had watched School of Rock last night. I watched it 3 times. Haha. I really enjoyed it. I love the kid who plays the guitar. He's so cool. And also the drummer and the bassist. All of them..^^

Hmmm, My classmates went here at our house this lunch and we watched the School of Rock. We came from school where we got our class cards on our HRM3 subject and I got 1.8. Hmmmm...I really will miss all of them. They are the bunch of people who loved me for what I am. ^^

Outage

Omo!..Today, there will be an outage at 4:00pm. Hmmm. I was doing, I mean playing, on my Facebook but I realized that today is Thursday which means I only have 26 minutes before the outage.

I would like to post about my classmates who went here at our house today and I also would like to post about the rainbow I had seen this lunch and the movie, "School of Rock"...Haha.

Now on my next post, I will show everything..tell everything..^^..Lets' start..Now!!

Going Hale

I was in bed. The lights are off. I'm alone. I'm listening to my Hale CD. When the song I always love was played, I got up and opened the pc. I'm changing my songs here on my blog to the Hale Songs. I'm broken today. I really love their songs. Especially this one. The "Underneath the Waves."

I don't want to think. I'm waiting here. I need to talk to him. The song I'm hearing is playing over and over again. I'm broken. God heal me please.

Failed

I was disappointed today. I cried so hard because I was lost. I can't be a Cum Laude because I already have a 2.0 grade on my English Subject.

My English subject is my lowest grade. My highest is Applied Chemistry.

Hmmm, but my professor told me that I can still be a Cum Laude if she will be able to go back to school and change my grades to 1.9. I am praying hardly that I can be one. I tried so hard. I did not sleep when it comes to exam days and I recite always. I have good grades but .1 changed my life.

Here is a prayer, I had read when the news came to me that I got 2.0:

Lord, when I lose hope because my plans have come to nothing, help me to remember that your plans for my life is always better than my dreams.


God has plans for me. A better one and better from what I have expected. Who knows, He can change everything. I really pray and I trust God. He only shows me that I can depend only to Him. He can do impossible things.

I trust God and I really pray that I will have at least 1.9. I pray that my teacher will be able to change it and I pray for a miracle.

Something About Photography

I love Pictures. I want to have a subject about Photography but when it comes to my course I can't because it's all about cooking and managing. Huhu. I wish someday that I will have a chance to study photography. Hmmm.

I like taking pictures. I love the camera. Oh!. Someday, when I already have a job, the first thing that I will buy is a digicam. For now, my dream is the Sony Cybershot T700. My sister has one and although it's not the T700, it's still a Cybershot and I love to use it. Haha.

These days, she's allowing me to borrow her digicam and I enjoy taking pictures. Here are some of the shots I got:

Missing Someone?

I miss him. Yeah. I miss him.
I miss him even more.
I really miss him.
I do.
I hope I can see him.
I hope he smiles again.
I hope.
I miss him.

I miss him terribly.

I read a blog today. A blog which I always visit. There, the author tells that she misses someone. Hmmm. After reading that blog, the first person that came up to my mind is him. I had seen him this Sunday but there's something that I really miss. I miss how he smiles and talks to me. Haha. I always wait for him. I will always. ^^. Even if this "missing thing", makes me sad, I will wait for him.

I miss you!

New Song..

Today, I changed my blog's playlist. I put the song from School Rumble. Haha. I hope you like it. This post is too short...right?..^^

Movies?

Oh!..I really don't like watching horror movies. I hate it especially those bloody movies. Hmm...It haunts me even on my dreams..Haha. Also, I hate bloody things. Hmmm. I'm afraid of the blood.

Why am I saying this? Haha. It's because this morning, my classmates asked me if I want to watch the movie entitled, "MIRROR". That's the one we had on our seminar. I mean, on the bus, the movie being shown was that movie. Haha. I watched a bit and yeah it's bloddy.

Bloody, bloody, bloody...Ewwwww...Haha..^^

Cue.Come.Bear

Whoa!!..I went to school this morning to get my grades in Filipino 2 Subject. Unluckily, the other professors are not in school so I was not able to get the other grades on the other subjects.

Hahaha. I got 1.6 in my Filipino and I have a certificate of Best in Mini-Thesis. Hahaha...
Thanks to God I was able to have good grades.

Now, about the title...hehe..If you read it fast, you will come up with the word..

"CUCUMBER"

Haha. I love cucumber. Actually this morning, me and my friends were talking about what we had done yesterday. They said that after I went home, they went to our classmate's house and ate cucumber.

I waited for the professor and after that my friend accompanied me to the store where cucumber are being sold. I bought two and when I got home, I ate my lunch. After my lunch, I made my sauce. It's composed of vinegar, salt, pepper and basil. Then, I dipped my freezing cucumber and ate it. Haha.

It made me refreshed. I really love cucumber..^^

Cool!!!

This song are from School Rumble Season 2. I love this. Haha. In School Rumble, Karasuma is the one playing guitar. ^^



Tonight, such a beautiful crescent moon
Changing every day, every night
Shining brighter
Just like something in our heart of bloom
Growing every day, every night
Shining amber

Do you know when we feel like a cat, a wild cat in the cage?
We can not miss our time, so let's find a gateway

So we gotta wake up! Wake up! Who we are!
We gotta wake up! Wake up! Our true soul...
You know we shake up! Shake up! How we feel
We are crossing over the top of the season
I show you GIRLS CAN ROCK!

Somehow, feel so much with the phase of moon
Sensing each tide, each sight
Getting brighter
I have a feeling that I will meet you soon
As I feel each tide, each night
You are closer

I wanna have somebody to hold the wild cat at the edge?
We all need the love to break through the old days

So we gotta wake up! Wake up! Who you are!
We gotta wake up! Wake up! Your true soul...
You know we shake up! Shake up! How you feel
We are getting together for special reason
Now you know GIRLS CAN ROCK!

I'll rock 'n roll
Like no one else
I'll rock you like never happened...

So we gotta wake up! Wake up! Who we are!
We gotta wake up! Wake up! Our true soul...
You know we shake up! Shake up! How we feel
We are crossing over the top of the season
I show you GIRLS CAN ROCK!



Do you remember what you said to me?
It's been ringing in my heart...
You should know that
what your words can do to me
It rumbles so high...
It tumbles so light...

You're beautiful
Oh, I have to say, you're beautiful
It's hard to deny it
You smile, and I can easily cry...

You know, you make me feel like a girl
Since I met you, I feel like a girl
It's amazing, so different way to be
And now, it's seems like I'm falling
Into love, into love...

You can answer to what I said to you
I give you the sweet part of my heart
So don't hurt me, if you feel the same way
We can make today high...
We can make it so bright...

You're an angel
When I met you, it was miracle
Impossible not to
feel it, we share the moment...

You know how much I feel like a girl
Because of you, I feel like a girl
It's like new window opening to me
So now, it seems like I'm falling

You know, you make me feel like a girl
Since I met you, I feel like a girl
It's amazing, so different way to be
And now, it's seems like I'm falling
Into love, into love...

Please Watch This

Haha!. This one's my favorite part. By the way, the guitar part near the ending was played by Karasuma. Yeah!..Haha..Hope You enjoy watching..^^..teary-eyed part..

(OH! BTW, I hate the subs because they made School Rumble very bad...hmmm..but the real subs are good..)

Karasuma!!

Whoa!..I watched School Ruumble yesterday. I found a DVD and bought it two weeks ago but I just started watching it this Saturday. Haha.

Cool!!..Karasuma knows how to play guitar and he's super cool!!..Hehe..He is also a quiet person. He talks only when someone approaches him but ohhhh!!..I can't explain the feeling.

Karasuma resembles the person I know. Hmmm..They are the same...But the only difference is that Karsauma is an anime while the person I know is a human. Also, Karasuma likes Tenma(the girl who likes him) while the person I know...hmmm..I don't know if he likes me..^^

Hmmm.I really enjoyed watching School Rumble..^^..My Favorite part in Season 2 is Ep. 1-3 and Ep. 5. Haha..^^

Halooo!!!

Oh!..Today's a hot day...Haha.

I went to the 7-11 store this morning to meet my high school friends. I really miss them so much. We had a small talk. Hmmm..We chit-chat about their own college life. Haha.

I realized just now that God really has a purpose why I did not got the course that I really like. Hmmm...Yup!..Somethings are not really meant for us but God sent something to fill the emptiness..Haha..Wihhh!!!..I miss having devotions. Hmmm..I really do.

Today's a great day. Hmmm..I hope....Hehe..But I really thank God for this wonderful feeling I have today..^^..And even though it's super hit today..I really thank Him..^^

EMO me!!

Haha..I had this since last week..^^..

Mid of March

I realized that it's already the mid of March...Hmm..Actually, it will be just one week and it's already April!!...OMO!!..Haha..

I only have 19 posts for March until now..Hmmmm..I'm really tired and busy for writing this month..haha..

Thesis, Seminars and so on...They are eating up my time...But it's ok...It's already vacation..Haha..I hope I'll not be fat..hehe..because...VACATION means DOING NOTHING...omo!!..No Studying and so on!!...hehe..

1:54pm...oooopppssss....I remember something..hehe..

Lazy Afternoon

Ahhh!!!..It's so hot. Hmmm..Sometimes I don't like summer days..It makes me feel sticky and LAZY. I don't want to move my body and all I want to do is lie in the bed. Haha.

I'm sooo tired...Tired of doing nothing. Hmmm..I'm just spending my time today blogging and uploading my pics.

By 2pm, I'll be signing out because by 4pm I have to go to the church for the practice. ^^.

Start Something?

Hmmmmm...I watched a movie last night. The title is "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button".

I borrowed it from my classmate a month ago but because the DVD Player at home does not read it, I returned it to him even though I have not watched it yet.

But last Thursday at school, I saw it again and borrowed it from him and he said that I can return it to him this Tuesday.

Last night, I watched it and it's so nice. A good story. Hmmm. I think it was a film made through a book. I hope I can find that book because it's so nice.

The sad part is when he died and when he left his daughter. Haha..But I really liked it so much..^^

To Be or Not To Be

The last two days before, I've been thinking about writing a post here but I can't because I spent my time watching movies and staying at the park with my friends.

This week was the last week we had before vacation. I will study at Siena College Taytay and it was decided. I got the Honorable Dismissal and the records I need. (Actually I still don't have it on my side, I just requested for it at school but it's the same..^^)

I got a week full of something. Haha. It's a nice week. I did the things I haven't done before.

I finished watching two series of anime..My favorites..Special A and Ultra Maniac.

I stayed on the park every aftrenoon with my friends and I failed for the job interview for the summer job..Hahaha..^^

Ahmmm..what else?...Oh Yeah!..I'm still uploading those pics we had last week..Haha..

Closed Shoes

I have this new hobby. Haha. Taking pictures of my one and only closed shoes. A white polka dots of black. The first picture was shot when I arrived at the school at 5:45am. The next one was on the bus. And the other two was in the Heny Sison Culinary School. All these pictures were taken last Saturday on our E-tour. ^^

One of the Songs..

Magpakailanman

Darating din ang araw
Na tayo'y tatanda
Babagal ang mga paa
At manlalabo ang mata
Hindi mamalayan ang pagikot ng mundo

Darating din ang panahon
Na malalagas ang buhok
Balat ay kukulubot
At makukuba ang likod
Hindi malilimutan ang pagibig ko sayo magpakailanman

Panahon ay lilipas din
Mga araw ay daraan
Ang mundo ay papanaw din ngunit hindi ang aking puso
Ngunit hindi ang pagibig ko sayo

Darating din ang bukas
Na tayo'y kukupas
Ang buhay ay magwawakas
Kasama ang gunita
Ngunit hindi malilimutan ang pagibig ko sayo magpakailanman

Panahon ay lilipas din
Mga araw ay daraan
Ang mundo ay papanaw din ngunit hindi ang aking puso
Ngunit hindi ang pagibig ko sayo

Habang buhay kitang mamahalin
Habang buhay kitang hihintayin
Habang buhay kitang mamahalin magpakailanman

Panahon ay lilipas din
Mga araw ay daraan
Ang mundo ay papanaw din ngunit hindi ang aking puso

Panahon ay lilipas din
Mga araw ay daraan
Ang mundo ay papanaw din ngunit hindi ang aking puso
Ngunit hindi ang pag-ibig ko sayo
Sayo Sayo Sayo Sayo Sayo Sayo Sayo

USB

I borrowed my classmate's USB. I asked him if I could have a copy of the songs he is listening. He gave me his USB this afternoon in school. Tomorrow I will return it to him. I also added songs to his USB as a thank you thing. Hehe.

I put Korean songs like the "Korean Happy Birthday song" which he sings these days..haha. Yeah. He learned that from me. Also, I included some OST from Korean movies and dramas. And lastly..The Three Little Bears Korean Song which is new to their ears.

Haha. I found his songs cool to ears. Why? Oh! Why?...Well...Hi s songs are mostly RNB and soft to ears. Hmmm..a very diffrent music from what I am fond of. Hmmm..I like rock songs...Oh!..On my nest post I will make a post about the lyrics of one of the songs in his USB. It'a a Filipino song and I haven't heard of it. Just now and I like it. Haha.

Circle of Friends

MOA

Mapua

Manila City Hall

Manila Yatch Club

Hmm...This trip was great. On our way from FabTech to MOA, we saw a lot of things and buildings. Yeah, I looked for Mapua Institute of Technology when we were in the Intremuros and luckily I saw it..Haha. I also looked for FEU and UST where my brother studied and my former classmates are studying. I saw the Manila City Hall, the Baywalk, the Manila Yatch Club and so on.

In MOA, I bought the magazine entitkled, "Balikbayan". I love that magazine and that's because someone had shown it to me. I like what was on the inside.

I also bought a Mama Bear Strawberry Cream something..^^. I love it. Hmm. I had fun in MOA. BUt like I said..a bit broken. ^^

Chocolate Lovers and FabTech

After Heny Sison Culinary School, we went to the Chocolate Lovers. Me and my classmates were so hungry because we arrived at the Chocolate Lovers nearly 1:30pm and we haven't eaten our lunch yet. Our professor told us that after Chocolate Lovers we can eat to the nearby fastfoods like Jollibee, KFC and Burger King.

I got down in the bus and hang with my seatmate because like I said me and my bestfriend had a war. ^^. We looked inside the Chocolate Lovers and saw all the ingredients for baking. There are a lot of chocolates with different colors but Chocolate Lovers is not exactly what I imagined. Haha.



Next stop was the FabTech where all the utensils, chef gowns and so on could be bought. The prices of utenstils and other stuffs there is so super expensive. Haha. Some costs 1M and others are 285, 000.

I only went to FabTech because I need to go to the comfort room. I found out that there were 3 of us who needs to go there. We asked where the comfort room is and went there. My classmate locked the door and after the three of us are finished we find the doors locked in a way that we did not expect. We were locked inside. We can't open the doors and we called for help. We were so lucky that our classmates are still on the other side of the door and they asked for help. The man working at the FabTech opened the door for us and that was a creepy experience.

E-Tour

March 15, 2009, Saturday, Heny Sison, Chocolate Lovers, FabTech and MOA.

Yesterday, I had a great day. Hmmm. Half-great, half-broken. Haha. So that means that not really a great day.

Well, I was seated on the second to the last row on the bus and I'm in the aisle. My bestfriend was on the other side seated with PiggyBear.

Me and my bestfriend had a fight and yesterday, she was my worst enemy because she hurt my feelings a lot. A BIG...BIG..BIG...A LOT. Yeah, she's the one who caused me a heartbroken.

Hmmm. But really, I enjoyed the trip because the people beside me and the ones at the back and front row are so noisy and alive. I enjoyed being with them.

When we are in the HENY SISON Culinary School, we decorated our own cupckaes and we did some flower arranging. We were teached by famous chefs and flower decorator. Those mentors are the one making the cakes of the former Firts Lady, Imelda Marcos and Ms. Lucy Torres-Gomez.

I enjoyed the flower arranging becaue I l0ve flowers. Most of the flowers I got were the orange roses and peach ones. There are also red and pink and some yellow with green flowers.

I also like the part when we are decorating our own cupcakes. I ahven't eaten mine yet. I'm planning to eat it later haha. ^^

I learned a lot of things when it comes to baking. Yeah, that E-tour sure was great. ^^.

Song from Me

Wow!!!For the first time I composed my own song. It's a Filipino song about the Terminal. I made it last Tuesday while waiting on the Terminal. Actually, It's a love song.

Hmmm. The song is about me waiting there. I mean there's a story behind the Terminal and it's about a Tuesday afternoon and I'm waiting for someone. I did not know if he was to come but he did. I waited for 4 hours tehre. Standing alone and with the hope that he will come. ^^

Haha..I'll not write it here because someone can stole it for me..^^

Long Time Ago

Wow...It's been a week since my last post. Haha. That's because this week is our finals and we had our baby thesis.

I'm sad for the memories I had not written here. Haha. I can't write it here anymore but really..I'm happy to be back..^^

Thesis..

Wah!!!...Our baby thesis is already done. Now we just have to edit and revise it. Our defense happened this afternoon and it was a success. I enjoyed our Filipino subject. Haha. I love Filipino subject. Wahahaha!!!

I'm so happy for the achievement that we had. This will be one of the unforgettable experience I had.

Dahilan

Dahilan
Barbie Almalbis

I
Alam ko na'ng pangalan mo... hoh Pati
Pati address at telepono
Sa dami ng kwentong umiikot
Alam ko na rin ang mga ayaw mo.

Refrain

Ngunit lahat ng ito ay walang kahulugan
Kung di rin lang ikaw ang matagpuan
Ang pag-ibig ko ay walang say say
Kung di rin lang ikaw ang dahilan

Interlude: Am-Bm-C;

Naalala ko ang dati
Magkasama hanggang hatinggabi
Di bale na kung ano'ng sabihin nila
Habang buhay magtatabi
(Repeat Refrain)


Bridge:

Binabasa kita
Malapit nang makita
Isinusuri ko... hoh ang mga letra
Hoo..... Hooo....


Refrain 2:

Ngunit lahat ng ito ay walang kabuluhan
Kung di rin lang ikaw ang katapusan
Ang pag-ibig ko ay walang say say
Kung di rin lang ikaw ang dahilan
Kung di rin lang ikaw ang dahilan


Coda:
Hmm.........

"History Repeats Itself"

For how many times am I being heartsick. Reality hurts. God is the only solution.

Why do I always choose those things that are not meant for me? I have my future but then I'm looking for the present which makes me sad.

Present told me, "If you can't find love, love will find you.". Present has been a good friend to me. A good friend and all that remains.

Future's been invisible for weeks. I haven't heard anything about future nor seen him. I'm having a confused mind and I'm too sorry for what I have done these past few months. I think..no I have been a somewhat kind of traitor for liking Present while I love my Future.

I'm still praying about future. Future's meant for me. Future is His Gift. I'm sorry. I really am.

I don't think I should post this one but I have to. If ever Future is reading this, He is still the one I like and hell yeah I'm suffering from the consequences of liking present while I like Future.

I said that history repeats itself because like what happened to the "First Love" thing...it happens to what I'm feeling with Present. And I know the reason behind that...Present's not meant for me because he is not my future for I have found my FUTURE already and I'm not that patient to wait but thank God that he is making me suffer for liking PRESENT so that I may forget him now and realize that HE IS NOT REALLY FOR ME.

Chylsy

My cute niece is getting older. Time goes fast because it was like yesterday when she was still a baby but now she talks a lot and makes our family happy and crazy.

She's super active. She talks a lot and she can memorize the word that we said once. She's super cute too.

I love her so much..^^..Even though sometimes she interrupts me on my homeworks..^^..

President Gloria Arroyo

Today, I saw the President of The Philippines. The inauguration of the new Capitol of the Rizal Province was held at Ynares Center. As a student of the University of Rizal System, it is a must to attend there. Hmmm. It was a tiring day but at least I saw the President of the Philippines..LIVE..Hehe

Also..She's wearing a yellow green formal dress. I don't have a picture of her because cameras are not allowed inside..Haha..^^