Afraid

I am crying for a long time and until now I am crying. I am really afraid. I'm alone at home and there's this something that i can feel. I hope someone believes me but I know I am telling the truth. Tears are flowing from my eyes because I can feel something...You don't know how it feels and I already called my siblings telling them to come home..I am playing Christian songs now. As loud as the computer can play. I'm really afraid. I never felt this thing before...Please...

The last Day of November

Tears fell down from my eyes as I'm waiting for November to end.

Something's on my mind again and it's hurting me..I'll distract myself by watching a movie or playing a song..I'll try too.

One more thing, it's creepy out here. I'm really afraid but I know God is with me and He will protect me from whatever it is that I feel. Hmmm..I hate it when I'm alone at home..

November Wrap-up

Today, is the last day of November 2008. November is a cool month for me. Bizarre things happened.

Hmmm, I enjoyed this month...It's my birth month. Hmmm..I met people; Ijoined contest; I saw him; He saw me; I like him; I still don't know if he likes me or will he ever...

Hmmm...I'll be leaving now..I'm excited to read Romeo and Juliet..^^

November 30..

Weather: rainy
Music: paramore
Clothes: smhs jogging pants, white shirt
Smell: medicine
Emotion: :-( and :-)
Looking forward to: reading my new books...
Worry: my missing notebooks
Annoyance: my omma
Doing: reading
Reading: Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet
Sound: My Heart-Paramore
Pain: throat
Itch: throat
Hate: cough..
Environment: quiet but noisy because of my cough
Taste: medicine
Want: to read my new books, to find my notes..huhu
Day: sunday
Date: 30th november
Time: 01:15pm
Company: none
Windows open: no
Thought: Karasuma..

Bibliophile

Every month I am buying new books and stuffs from National Bookstore. I really save my money and spend it just to buy books and other cute stuffs there.

I'm a bookworm and I love being like that. I love reading books and imagining something..haha..Weird, I know but this is me..^^

Books that I bought this morning are:

1. Breaking Dawn by Stephanie Meyer

The last book of the Twilight Saga. Hmmm, the price increased but I still bought it...I love this book but I will not open it until I read the New Moon(part 2) and Eclipse(part 3), which I still don't have..:-(

2. Romeo and Juliet by Shakespeare

(I really used the real covers of the books I bought so this is the real cover ok..^^)

I'm into Shakespeare's work right now. I think I will love reading his books and so I started with Romeo and Juliet. I saw another book from him entitled, As You Like it.. I searched it in Wikipedia and it says that it is a pastoral comedy..Hmm my mind changed...I don't like comedy..^^.Well, I'll finish Romeo and Juliet first and if I like it I will collect his works..^^

3. Quick and Easy(Sushi Sashimi)

I am addicted to sushi so I bought a recipe book about sushi..I will make one, one of these days so I need a recipe book..^^


Well, Collecting and reading books is my hobby. I love books...I hope people will still read books from their vacant time and not that using their time to the use of cellphone, internets and so many distractons because books are important..^^

Oh! Another thing, reading is great with music..^^

Twilight Movie

Last night, me and my sister watched Twilight. It started at 7:10pm and we got on the right movie theater at 7:20pm. We are late because of my sister's patients in her dental clinic. It's ok but I am not patient at waiting at all.

We arrived at the mall at 7:03pm and went to Wendy's to buy foods and then we went to buy tickets. Ahhh, there are many people in the line so we have to wait again..^^

Then, time to watch the movie..Haha..The movie is so great. I really love it. Some critics I might say is that the artists are not good at all. They are just pretty and handsome but the way they act lacks something. Hmmm, I understand them because it's really hard to act but I just don't like that part.

The thoughts of what is in the book is almost in the movie. The lines, the scenes they made it great.

I enjoyed the movie and we watched it twice so we finished the movie at 12:10am..Haha..The only people in the mall. We arrived at home at 1:30am and I am sick.

I have a sick right now...I hate it but still I thank God because He touched the one I like to send a message to me..^^

haha..

I love the movie..I recommend itfor you to watch..^^.^^

Oh by the way, the soundtracks are so cool..especially I caught Myself by Paramore....and the other song from Linkin Park and Bella's Lullaby...I love it and the next thing I will do is buy their soundtrack..^^

shana

Love has big impacts to people. Very big. Hmmmmm. It's very weird but I have to write something about this word that gives stress to me..^^

Hmmm, I know this is really weird. My mind is confused about posting or even writing about it but I really have to confess here. I can't directly tell it to him. No one visits my blog, not even him so I have a chance to tell it to him here. He will never know..

I really like him. I really really do. I can't help myself. I'm trying my best to avoid him. I did twice but then I ended up tlkingto him again. I tried not to smile at him nor look at him but at the end of the day, I still do.

I'm really confused. I have every second to tell it to him but I can't. I won't because I don't want him to avoid me. Hmmm.. I have to wait. Four years or five years from now and I know I can wait. Hmmmm...I hope he likes me too...I really hope...

I'm really confused...So confused...

Today?

My posts are mostly about the word "today." I think the reason behind that is that I cherish every day of my life. I don't know what will happen next so I want to make today the very best.

I'm not like this before but now I am giving importance with my time and the people around me(especially Karasuma even if he does not). After everything that's happening to me, I live my life now to the fullest.

I want to do everything that I can to honor God and to serve Him. Doing good is one thing that's why I am trying my best to be good. Excel in school is another thing and so I am studying hard. Another thing is loving people, I love them even if sometimes they don't.

Today, what did I do?....I looked at the sky and thanked God for a wonderful day that I had. I prayed for the people I love and some strangers that I will encounter. I pray for protection and for everything..^^

I lOve today...Today..^^

wahaha

Weather: rainy
Music: paramore
Clothes: whiten shorts, maroon tops
Smell: sushi
Emotion: :-/
Looking forward to: talking with him...
Worry: my curly hair
Annoyance: my omma
Doing: writing, listening..waiting
Reading: YM messages from Karasuma
Sound: Stuck on You-Paramore
Pain: heart
Itch: none
Hate: none..
Environment: peaceful
Taste: sushi
Want: watch Twilight tomorrow
Day: friday
Date: 28th november
Time: 03:38pm
Company: none
Windows open: yes
Thought: Karasuma..

Decoy

Decoy
Paramore

Close your eyes and make believe this is where you want to be
Forgetting all the memories, try to forget love cause love's forgotten me
Well hey, hey baby, it's never too late pretty soon you won't remember a thing
And I'll be distant, the stars reminiscing
Your heart's been wasted on me

You've never been so used as I'm using you, abusing you
My little decoy
Don't look so blue, you should've seen right through
I'm using you, my little decoy
My little decoy

Live your life inside a dream
Time is changing everything
Forgetting all the memories
And I'm forced into you just cause you're into me
Well hey, hey baby, it's never too late
When I'm gone you won't remember a thing
But I can't stay and you know I won't wait
I was gone from the very first day

You've never been so used as I'm using you, abusing you
My little decoy
Don't look so blue, you should've seen right through
I'm using you, my little decoy

Oh, oh.
I'm not sorry at all
(not sorry at all, not sorry. no.)
I won't be sorry at all
(not sorry at all, not sorry. no.)
I'd do it over again

Don't look so blue, my little decoy
You should've seen right through, my little decoy
You've never been so used, my little decoy
And so I'm using you, my little decoy

Posted it again..^^

Profile Today..^^

Weather: cold, rainy
Music: paramore
Clothes: brown shorts, pink tops
Smell: cookies
Emotion: :x
Looking forward to: mbrownies
Worry: Karasuma and my curly hair
Annoyance: tricycle drivers
Doing: writing, listening..waiting
Reading: YM messages from Karasuma
Sound: Franklin-Paramore
Pain: heart
Itch: none
Hate: cough, tricycle drivers..
Environment: noisy because of music
Taste: cookies
Want: watch Twilight this week
Day: thursday
Date: 27th november
Time: 06:34pm
Company: nong
Windows open: no
Thought: Karasuma..

Futomaki

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Futomaki Incident

This afternoon, while going home, I, again, met an accident. Well, it's very weird. Really. Hmmm. I hate it but that's life.

Tricycle accident again but this time, I'm not hurt. The same thing will happen again but I slipped from the tricycle that's why I'm not hurt. The bad thing is when I slipped from the tricycle, something odd happened. I did not realize that everything is to fast. Hmmmm...I really hate it.

By the way, I was craving for futomaki that's why I went to a store and bought 2 sets of it. Hmmmm. Futomaki and California Maki. I love it but it's too expensive...Haha....

I ate already my futomaki and maybe later I will eat the California Maki.

All I know is, I hate Tricycles and mayonnaise in Futomaki.

Today, Today, Today

Weather: hot
Music: paramore
Clothes: secret.haha
Smell: hazelnut chocolates
Emotion: :), :x
Looking forward to: my new cd
Worry: Karasuma
Annoyance: weather
Doing: writing, listening..waiting
Reading: Notes in English and PDPR Subjects
Sound: Decode-Paramore
Pain: throat and heart
Itch: throat
Hate: cough
Environment: rock music from Paramore
Taste: hazelnut chocolates
Want: watch Twilight this week
Day: tuesday
Date: 25th november
Time: 03:45pm
Company: ching
Windows open: no
Thought: excited about Twilight and my new cd..

Smiles

Last night, I was scanning the TV channels to watch something. I stopped when I saw this topic about smiles. I am so happy to see that program.

I remember him. I always tell him to smile. Hmmmmm..Haha. The program says that there are three kinds of smile.

The first one is a smile without showing the teeth. A shy smile. It's also called a mysterious smile like Monalisa's smile.

The second one is a true smile. A smile where you show that you are really happy. This smile are easily seen from people. This is his kind of smile. Hmmm...The thing that makes me smile too is his smile..^^..

The third kind of smile is the fake smile. This smile is not that frequently seen on people. It can only be seen on people that are bad..haha..

Hmmm, I really like that show. I sent a message to him and I hope he watched that show...haha...I really like the way he smile..^^

Color in The Sky

Going home, I saw a rainbow in the sky. It's rainy this morning and I am waiting for a rainbow. I though I can't see a rainbow but then I saw one.

Week by Week, I saw rainbows often. I am so happy to see a rainbow. Why? Well I have many reasons for that...

First, when I see a rainbow is a sign of the covenant between the LORD and the earth, to keep it from destruction by deluge.

Second, my heart leaps when I saw a rainbow. A smile forming in me as I remember someone's smile.

Third, I don't usually see a rainbow on my childhood. I always draw it but I don't see it often. I remember the first time I saw a rainbow. I was with my grandmother and she told me that at the end of the rainbow, water is very fresh. Hmmm. My dream now is to go to the end of the rainbow and look how clean the water is. I miss my grandma..^^

Fourth and Lastly, when I see a rainbow, I tell it to the one I really like. Then he will talk to me. Rainbow is a connection between me and him. I am happy when he talks to me and I am glad because everytime that there is a rainbow, he talks to me..^^

I really thank God for this day and for the rainbow. I thank him for sending a rainbow and for touching someone's heart..(him)..to talk to me..^^

Nice looking rainbows..^^

Stars..^^

I'l do it over again...

Paramore Playlist in Imeem

This is my playlist in My Imeem account...I hope you'll enjoy..It's all Paramore...

Read it or Regret....

One day you were crossing a bridge with God. You are scared so you asked God..

You: Can I hold Your hand so I won't fall into the river?

God: No child, I should hold your hand"

You: What's the difference?

God: If you hold my hand and something happens, you might let go. If I hold your hand, no matter what happens, I'll never let go.

A nice story or should I say nice message. The same. This implies that when something happens we easily let go. When things that we don't want happen we leave God but see how amazing God's love is. Even, if we want to let go, He will never let us go. He will stay with us. We just have to trust Him and put everything that makes us stumble to Him. A very nice promise. He will never let go of us no matter what Happen...Trust Him only..^^

What Gift?

Boy: What is the most important thing to give to someone?

Old Man: Time my child.

Boy: But why time and not Love?

Old Man: Love you can give that. You can have that. You can share that to anybody. But with time, you can't stop it or control it. Because you can never bring back the time that has passed by. So spend your time wisely and cherish it with your loved one. Because you'll never know when your time is over.



A message I receive from my cellphone. Full of sense. Hmmmm. Time is so important. You can't bring back any second that you are wasting. Spen it wisely like what the story tells.

I'll leave one question...

How can you spend it with the one you like when he spends his time to something you don't know?

My heart...hmmm

My favorite song from Paramore is My heart. I am currently listening to that song now. The acoustic version. It's my first time to hear the acoustic version. I searched for that and it took me 30mins finding it. It's so good.

Hmmmm..I like this line...

"I am nothing now and it's been so long

Since I've heard the sound, the sound of my only hope"

The sound of the guitar is so cool. I really love it. ^^

impact

Big impact...Hmmm..I really don't know what to say today but I feel like writing..Inspired again by being sad and by listening to a song by Marie Digbie...

I should not be sad. Hmmm, Instead I should be happy because when I am sad, God is sad too. I don't want to make him sad so I'll forget that thing now...

Music, Hmmm, Music calms me. I play it in the maximum volume. I listen to rock songs, or songs from Marie Digbie, Nerina Pallot and Regina Spektor. Now, I am currently listening to Marie Digbie. Palying her song all over again. When it stops I repeat it.

Hmmm, after few minutes, I am into Paramore now. Throwing Punches. My playlist in my Imeem account. I mean I have a collection of Paramore in my Imeem account. Paramore also calms me...mostly...

Their song makes me forget about him. Although, the lyrics of that song reminds me of him. Hmmm...I can't explain it clearly. Sorry..

But, really Paramore, Marie Digbie, New Found, Starting Line, Papa roach...everything...makes me calm....It only reminds me of happiness. The moments that made me happy with him...^^

Franklin by Paramore is also good. It's about their hometown and I like it. Another is That's What You Get...Hmmm Most of the time, when I am too sad, I listen to that song. (Maximum volume)...Although some people said that maximum volume will make you poor in listening...I don't care about it. I enjoy listening. That is one of the things that make me calm...

This article is, by the way, about me and music. How the music affects me when I am sad. I love music. Ahhh...Smile already...I have to smile now.....Forget the things that makes us sad...

No not this time....

Hmm...Lyrics from Decode...

That would be a good title today...I mean tonight...Hmmm The monitor is changing colors....ahhhh//.//

I am myself again...Hmmm..BTW I have a new hairstyle...Haha....(on my own)...

(I'm screaming I love you...my thoughts you can't decode)....

Hmm...I feel sad...Yup..whatever..hmmm I am just sad because of him.....

Sometimes, I write this word "haha" just to trick myself that I'm happy but in reality I'm not. He's not talking to me...ok..hmmm..goodbye...goodbye....^^'

Nothing

There's nothing to write....Just Kidding...

hmmm, moonless night again....No Moon, few stars...rainy...but that's ok as long as I can see him.

Tonight, I didn't talk to him. I didn't smile at him nor did anything....Hmmmm, instead, I moved away from him. I want to have my own space because if I will allow myself to come closer to him, he will hate me...

THat's my opinion...Hmmm but I really want to talk to him...I want to see that smile...Whatever..

Yup...it's all about him again...The second man to hurt me....I hope he will be the last...Even if it hurts, I still like him...^^\\

smile..Though...everything..is...to...difficult...

Later People

Like I said on my previous article, I am studying hard and to make it...Hmmm.. I have to minimize the time I am spending in the pc. I have to minimize waiting for him and instead of just hanging up here, I have to read more and continuously about my subjects...Major and Minor...

Though it's hard, I have to post everything that's on my mind here on my blog when I hav free time. I mean I am not going to open my blog everyday. Also, I have to lessen the use of my friendster and ym. If he is not OL in ym then I have to be offline and start reading my notes again.

I will use my time studying hard to achieve my goals..^^

...P.S.:

Hmmm, I opened my coin bank which I have since May. I have 600 there. Haha..Too happy...Hmmm, I can buy now the Twilight Saga Set but then I changed my mind for two reasons...

1. It's because Edward Cullen is not real. He is just a character in a nice book so I should stop reading it. Hmm, I mean, he is not like Karasuma...Stop dreaming that they are the same..^^

2. I want to have a new cp. Haha.. Nokia 6267..right there on the Satiety page, I have a link of what it looks like and it's features...Now that I have 3000 I just have to save my money to havee 6500 more...^^

I can do it..^^..Hmmm...Just going to pray...^^

......

Again, I am not saying that I will close this blog but I am telling that Blogging will be minimized to have a way on my studies...^^...So watch up to my new articles in a few days...I promise I will post something...but not everyday...Haha..

...ENJOY....GOD BLESS...

How is School?

School is fine. Not that bored. My school life has changed already. Changed in everything...

• The quiet type me is back again.
• Serious when it comes to quizzes and recitations....hmmm...Yup...It's back..
• Valuing my time...Back..
• Listening carefully to the professors...back
• Bookworm and dictionary lover...Back

Hmmm..this are few things that I can remember when it comes to my new school life...I can't remember the other things that I am doing but they are really plenty. (Truthfully, I am shy to tell what are those changes..^^)

My new way of studying is so different to what I'm used to. I learned that there are two ways of memorizing. The technical way and the road way. My professor told me that I should memorize using the rote way. We can achieve it by reading with understanding or simply learning by heart.
I tried that this morning and it's really effective. I read now not because I have to memorize but because I have to understand it.

Studying is so fun. Hmmm...I like it..^^

Thank God..^^

I'm changing now and I am beginning it by not surfing at the net much. I also started to sleep very early (6 pm) but now I'm not in the mood to sleep early. I have plenty of homework and I'll be doing it after blogging.

I am now studying hard to get a grade not lower than 2 so that I can have an award. In everything that I am doing now, like studying so hard, taking mg quizzes, reading something, or anything, I am doing it for God' glory. I want people to see How Great God is doing in my life.

Two days of studying so hard makes me happy and I am not that tires because when I think that it is for God, smile comes to my face and I can't feel that everything is too hard.

I've been enjoying going home since yesterday. I am walking now and not riding those rude tricycles. I don't feel tired because I enjoy the view. I enjoy the scene of the setting sun with those colorful clouds. I enjoy looking at them and thanking God for the nice weather that we had this days. I thank God for letting me see those wonderful creations He made. I also thank Him for my eyes. I know someday my eyes will be clear again.

No more...

Hmmmm. This heart is breaking again. Ah!!!..So tired...Hmmm..

I did it for you but you don't care. I thought I will be fine or better I say that everything's ok now but you destroyed it. Ahhh..

But you think that I can’t see
What kind of man that you are

Say It Again-Marie Digby

The thing about love

Is i never saw it coming

It kinda crept up and took me by surprise
And now there’s a voice inside my heart
that’s got me wondering
Is this true, i want to hear it one more time

Move in a little closer
Take it to a whisper
Just a little louder

Say it again for me
Cuz i love the way it feels when you are telling me that i’m
The only one who blows your mind
Say it again for me
It’s like the whole world stops to listen
When you tell me you’re in love
Say it again

Thing about you is you know just how to get me
You talk about us like there’s no end in sight
The thing about me is that i really want to let you
Open that door and walk into my life

Move in a little closer
Take it to a whisper
Just a little louder

Say it again for me
Cuz i love the way it feels when you are telling me that i’m
The only one who blows your mind
Say it again for me
It’s like the whole world stops to listen
When you tell me you’re in love

And it feels like it’s the first time
That anybody's ever brought the sun without the rain
And never in my whole life
Have I heard words as beautiful as when you say my name

Say it again for me
Cuz i love the way it feels when you are telling me that i’m
The only one who blows your mind
Say it again for me
It’s like the whole world stops to listen
When you tell me you’re in love
Say it again

When you tell me you’re in love…
Say it again

Better study!

Being a new me now, I have to study hard. I will try my best not to get a 2.0 grade. I have to because I want to have an award on our graduation for the next 3.5 years. Haha.

I am doing everything I could possibly do because I want to glorify God in my studies. I want the people to see how God leads me. Hmmm..Showing them that truly God's love never fails..^^

I just finished reviewing my major subjects and next stop for tonight is the minor subjects...(Filipino, English, PDPR, DTID) Haha. Enjoying my life now..^^

Food...Haircut...Music..

I am full now. I just ate my lunch. I don't eat rice for how many days. I eat breads, cookies, cereals, vegetables or anything but not rice. I don't know why but I just don't feel eating rice. ^^ I'll try next time.

About haircuts. Wah! I am excited. I will have my haircut after 6 months. Haha. What might be my style now? Hmmm.. I wonder...Haha..I am really excited..^^

Music..Yup!..I will listen to some cool music today. I don't feel listening to rock songs this time. ^^

300th post...not that bad

Hmmm..He greeted me..I didn't her it but he said that he greeted me..Now I'm smiling already...Ahh..Haha..Thanks...Thank you so much to God for giving me a wonderful and bizarre birthday...Haha..

(11/15/2008 9:47:24 PM): hpi bday

Clip from his message...ayihhh...Nice year to start....Thanks God...I really love your ways...^^..

I'll still pray for Him...^^..Thanks so much..^^...Going to wait for that time..^^..^^

Smile...^^...Smile..^^..

It's funny how tears disappear quickly because of him but it's funnier that tears also appear quickly because of the same reason..^^

Thanks for making my birthday nice..^^

Weather: cold
Music: Marie Digby, Terra Naomi
Clothes: blue shirt, brown shorts
Smell: Pizza Roll
Emotion: in :\ , not ok
Looking forward to: him Greeting me..which seems impossible
Worry: Karasuma..
Annoyance: why i care for people who don't care
Doing: writing, listening..waiting
Reading: My Blog
Sound: Say it's Possible-Terra Naomi
Pain: he didn't greet me..
Itch: none
Hate: myself..hoping for him..
Environment: quiet
Taste: Pizza Roll
Want: to be liked by him, greeted by him...
Day: friday
Date: 15th november
Time: 09:39pm
Company: none
Windows open: no
Thought: will he greet me today?..

Crying Girl...

Listening to a nice song...Ideas..Hmmm..I hate myself..

I'm cryingnow..I'm not trying or at least I will be a good girl..I'll not beg you to greet me..I hope you will..but why?..why didn't you greeted me..There are still 3 hours left...you can still change your mind and greet me...Hmmm

That can really make me smile and happy...why?..Hmm..

I hate this tears...They keep on falling...I hate myself..Ah...New year for me but I'm still the old me...Hurting myself for people who don't care...Ah...

Moonless Birthday

I prayed that rain will not come today. I prayed that the night will be dry and cold. I prayed that I will have the chance to walk with him today.

All of them happened. I'm glad but something is missing. I looked at the sky, there are no stars and no moon. Night will be complete when there are stars, moon and karasuma...

2 nice things are not there tonight. I hope next time it will be....Today is a special day for me but not for him. Ahh....Why am I doing this to myself?..Why am I hurting myself by thinking of him when he don't.

But then, just by his smile, everything's ok. Just by looking at him far apart is enough for me...Today, will never happen again...THIS DAy is a nice opportunity I just missed.

Hmmm...one smile for my birthday....I didn't see. One greet that can make me happy...I didn't hear. One song I want to hear...he didn't play...

I'm nobody...There is nothing special today..Nothing for him but everything for me...Why is the world unfair?..Why? oh why?...

Birthday...Hmmm..a little bit sad but then I'm really glad, I am able to see you...to be with you...even if i don't really know what you are thinking....

Nice Day..Good Night

I am now 17 years old. Time is so fast today. Maybe it's because I almost enjoyed this day and I did not realize the time.

Although this morning something not good happened. The first person I ever talked to on my 17th year is Karasuma....Yep he is...When I woke up, I prayed and then I sent a message to him. He did reply and the saddest part of it is that he don't know my birthday..

I was sad when he did reply this to me...

"D q nman alam kng an0 mer0n kng 15 ngaun e."

Hmmm..maybe I misinterpreted his message but then it made me sad. The first person who made me cry on my 17th year is him.

Time moved on and even if that message was still on my cellphone, I just moved on. I mean, I have to forget it because it's may day today so I have to enjoy it.

Going to school, people don't know that it's my birthday and gladly one of my closest friend announced my birthday. Every one greeted me.

After spending 4 hours in school, we went to Shopwise to buy the ingredients I will use in cooking my "PIZZA ROLL". The inspiration I have is KARASUMA. I mean last June 24, I told him that I will buy Pizza for him for his joke. But he won't eat it. I know it. (maybe he just don't like to be with me...too sad..) Instead, I cooked this PIZZA ROLL.

It took me 3 hours to cook it but then I enjoyed cooking it because I know that people I love will like it...^^

After that, I went to the church (I am too late becasue of cooking but then haha..). Actually, I was with my classmates and they are going to watch a "Battle of the Bands" as they call it in Manila..

People from the church...I love them...They care for me...I really love them...Hmmm..We had our practice and devotion. After that we ate my PIZZA ROLL...Haha...Karasuma had 2. I'm sad that he didn't are much but it's ok. I prepared a special PIZZA ROLL for him...^^..

The best birthday gift I have today is...

• Walking to the terminal with him...The way like that rainy night. This time, there are no stars and no moon. I stayed not too close to him. I let him walk first because I want to look at him from his back. Starring at him and that he don't know. I like him. I like him so much but then I have to wait and suffer from pains caused by this loving feeling.

I really had a great day and good night. Ah!..Also I love my classmates from high school, they still remembered my birthday and so happy that they do. I appreciate them being able to send a message to me. Thanks...

Most of all, I'd like to thank God for this day. For giving me another day to live. I hope that I can have more birthdays to come with the love of my life. Hmmm..Thanks to God for Karasuma's Life and smile...Thanks because I had this great birthday with him and thanks that God loves me.

p.s.: Karasuma didn't greet me..huhu...too sad

Updates..^^

Weather: hot
Music: paramore, canon
Clothes: pink blouse, red shorts
Smell: no comment
Emotion: in between :\ and :)
Looking forward to: my birthday
Worry: Karasuma..
Annoyance: school
Doing: writing, listening..waiting
Reading: New Moon
Sound: When it Rains-Paramore
Pain: emotional kind
Itch: none
Hate: time
Environment: quiet
Taste: cake
Want: to be liked by him
Day: thursday
Date: 14th november
Time: 05:51pm
Company: none
Windows open: no
Thought: what will happen tomorrow..

7 hours to go..

Yeah...7 hours to go tatanda na naman ako...haha..Ayihhh..namiss kong gumamit ng sariling wika dito sa blog ko ahh...kaya ayan Tagalaog na Tagalog po tayo ngayon..Haha..

Ayun...countdown na..Hmmm..Ano kaya mangyayari sa susunod na taon ng buhay ko...Mga bagong karanasan na iiyakan, tatawanan at hindi papansinin...Mga bagong taong makikilala..Mga bagong bagay na matututunan..Mga bagong ka-ewanan na naman....

7 hours to go...Matatapos na ang pagiging 16 ko...Hmmm...Marami akong gustong i-countdown or gawing list...haha..eto ung susunod na linya..I mean susunod na paragraph..or ewan..eh gagawin ko para sa countdown ng mga bagay na gusto kong mangyari sa susunod na taon ng buhay ko...^^

16. Hmmm..gusto kong makakain pa ng maraming kakaibang pagkain..(Halata bang gutom ako ngayon?..) Haha..Joke lang...I mean gusto kong matikman ung mga pagkain sa iba't-iabang lugar tapos iluluto ko tapos makakain ko na rin...

15. Makapagbasa pa ako ng maraming libro. Makarinig pa ako ng maraming at bagong mga tunog. Makanuod pa ako ng maraming movies. Makapunta pa ako sa mas malalayong lugar at hindi lang sa buong Luzon..^^

14. Ma-realize nung taong yun na nag-e-exist ako..haha...Pangarap ko yun..pero kapag na-realize niya na eh..matagal pa rin ung panahon na iintayin ko..haha//^^

13. Palagi pa rin akong titingin sa langit...Palagi ko pa ring tititigan ang ulap, bituin, buwan...Kaya..aun gusto kong palaging maganda ang weather..I mean...Gusto kong walang araw..Kahit napaka-imposible...Ung gusto ko naman eh...walang araw pero maliwanag....Kung baga ung araw eh laging natatakpan ng ulap at malamig..haha..Baguio style....

12.Hay...ang hirap naman..ano pa ba ang pwede?...Aun..haha..Magiging super bait na ako kay Ching...Hindi ko kasi pinapansin si Ching ngayong mga panahong ito kasi super kulit nya eh..Kaya aun...Love na love ko un..Haha

11. Hmmm..Babaguhin ko na rin ung ako..Haha..May advice ung cm8 ko..I mean nagtanong ako ng magandang advice from a psychologist's side na magagawa ko sa sarili ko...ang resulta...Dapat eh iwasan ko ng maging recessive..Yup..Recessive..So ibig sabihin kailangan ko ng maging ako..Haha..Iiwasan ko na ung pag-control nung ibang tao sa akin..Dapat may freedom..Haha..Kaya sa mga taong mahilig mang-control..Hmm.di nyo na ako maco-control ngayon..haha

10.Ngayong 17 na ako...bagong buhay sa school...Hmmm..Dapat di ako makakuha ng 2 na grade...Yup..pipilitin ko..yeah matinding puyatan..matinding aral..at walang pake-elamanan na ang magyayari sa akin..Hmm Iba na ako ngayon...Super serious na ako sa school kaya aun...Gagalingan ko..dahil..."In everything that I am doing, I do it for God.."

9. Gusto kong makapunta sa Baguio. Yeah..Pupunta ako dun..Hmmm ewan ko lang kung kelan basta ngayong 17 na ako..(I mean bukas 17 na ako..haha) eh makakapunta na ako dun...Hmmm...ng mag-isa..Haha

8. Gusto kong magkaroon ng maraming ideas na mailalagay ko pa dito sa blog ko...Haha...Para naman marami akong maisulat..^^

7. Hmmm ngayong taong ito, kahit imposible, eh gusto kong makasama siya..Wahaha..I mean, makita ko siya or magkaraoon ako ng lakas ng loob na makasalamuha sa kanya..Di ko kasi kayang kausapin ng matino yun eh..Haha..Ung mga nasasabi ko eh ung mga bagay na hindi ko naman talaga gustong sabihin. Ung mga bagay naman na gusto kong sabihin sa kanya eh..di ko masabi...

6. Gusto kong mapanuod ung Twilight. Yeah. Since mga para sa 17th year lang ito ng life ko eh mejo mga short term lang..haha..Di lang mapanuod ung Twilight kundi mabasa ko na lahat ng books nun..Haha

5. Gusto kong magkaroon ng guitar...or violin..Haha...or kahit maka-pag-play lang ako nun palagi ok na..Haha..Na-mi-miss ko kasi nung high school pa ako...palagi akong nag-gi-gitara..^^

4. Hmmm..Sa susunod na taon ng buhay ko, gusto kong magkaraoon na ng cellphone na gusto ko. Mejo malapit ng matupad yun..Haha..Malapit na talaga...ang matagal eh ung digicam ko..Gusto kong ma-upgrade na ung digicam ko..Haha..pero matagal pa naman un kaya ayun...ung cp ko muna...Haha

3. Sana hindi pa muna magunaw ang mundo...Hay..(sori po)...Hmm Sana wag po muna..Hmm pangarap ko pa kasing mabuhay ng mejo matagal...Panagrap ko yun kasi gusto kong matupad ung pangarap ko para sa KANYA..hmmm ewan..Haha..Basta pangarap kong matupad muna yun...

2. Gusto kong makita pa ng marami ang smile NIYA. oo Ung SMILE NIYA...Haha..Sana ngumiti siya palagi..Hmmm...

1. Gusto kong makapagbigay, makagawa ng iba pang mga bagay para kay God. Gusto kong i-please si God at gusto kong maging isang mabait na bata..I mean dalaga..Haha..Dalaga na ako?..Haha..aus ah..^^

aun haha.ang hirap gawin nito ah..haha...^^

What She had..

For 17 years of my life, I experienced so many things. Bizarre things. Most of it are sad but then lessons can be learned from that moments.

This midnight, I will be 17 already. I'm not sure if I can use the pc tomorrow so I'll write everything that I want to say for tomorrow, now.

This is the last day that I will be 16 and I want to end my last day today thinking of those past events that happened to me...

The following are memorable events of my 16 years living here on Earth...

16. I was born in this world.

15. I had friends who come and go most of the time but then while they are with me, I enjoyed every moments. I also met many people. Different kinds of people. Some I liked. Some I don't. But still they became a part of me.

14. I have ears which I can use in listening to music. Ears I am using to hear his voice. Ears I can use to hear his laughs...^^

13. I had watched movies I loved. Movies that made me cry. Movies that made me laugh. Movies..^^

12. I tasted different kinds of food and drinks. Exotic, Street foods(kwek-kwek), Cakes, Cookies and so on...Yummy foods..^^

11. I have this wonderful blog which I can write anything that is on my mind.

10. I joined contests. Most of them made me a winner but then being a loser is good..sometimes..

9. My classmate in U.S.A. still remembers me and for four years we still have a communication.

8. I had loved someone. I failed. Now I am loving again...

7. God gave Ching to our family. She really makes me happy.

6. I can speak 3 languages and still studying other languages.

5. I know how to play some songs in a guitar, piano or violin. At least. I mean at least I can play those instruments even if I am an amateur. Very amateur..^^

4. I graduated with awards. I had many awards in my school life. From Grade 1 up to 4th year and until know. Everything I had received I give it all for God's glory.

3. I have eyes which I can use in looking at the sky to see the moon, stars, clouds and everything. Eyes that I can use to see the smile of that person who is so special to me. Eyes that I can use in reading books, looking at nice scenes and so on...^^

2. I met Karasuma. The real Karasuma on his birthday. A day which I can't forget. Karasuma who is so good to me. Karasuma who is so specail. Karasuma who doesn't know I exist.

1. I have a great God who loves me and cares for me. A God who is always there for me and never leaves me. A God whom I can trust.

This are the 16 memorable things that happened to me. Things I can't forget. People whom I met. Places I've been to. Music and movies I watched and enjoyed.

Following the Moon

Last night while going home from Batangas, I was attracted by the moon. It's so beautiful. The night was clear and a big, white, ball of light is in the sky.

A thing crossed in my mind...

If I am looking at the moon now then is it the same when I will look at it from a different place?

Hmmmm..what could possibly the answer?...Ahh..I want to know...

Heartaches...

I lost again. This is the second time I lose a game. It's hard to accept. I tried so hard to win the contest but then I lose.

God has plans for me. I think God allowed this event to happen to me so that I will learn to accept the feeling of being a loser. God wants me to learn that every people even if they have that great feeling of hope they still lose.

Now, I learned that I have to be strong and move on. Forgetting that experience will help a little bit but then losing is such a great feeling. Though it hurts, it is still good for us because it will help us improve. It will strengthen our hearts to do better next time.

Cheer up again..^^

Yah!!!

Looks Good...
Hope so..^^

Lead Me To The Cross

Lead Me To The Cross

Savior I come
Quiet my soul remember
Redemptions hill
Where Your blood was spilled
For my ransom
Everything I once held dear
I count it all as lost

Lead me to the cross
Where Your love poured out
Bring me to my knees
Lord I lay me down
Rid me of myself
I belong to You
Lead me, lead me to the cross

You were as I
Tempted and trialed
You are
Te word became flesh
Bore my sin and death
Now you're risen

To your heart
To your heart
Lead me to your heart
Lead me to your hear

This Day

This day....I realized time is too fast. Maybe it's because of the daylight Time savings whatever...Hmmm..I don't know if we are affected by that here but I really recognized that time is so fast.

The best way to sleep when you have to sleep is listen to some classic piano music and a cold temp. in your bedroom while covering your eyes...That's the way I find myself when I have to sleep to stay late at night.

Ahhh..I have to study tonight. Tomorrow is a big day. I can't concentrate on reviewing the things I'm supposed to review. My mind is not in the condition of reading bizarre terms...

I doin't know what to say....^^...All I want is to see you...Haha...Whatever..^^

Accident

Last night, I dreamed that I was going to die...

This afternoon, while going home, I met an accident.

Two tricycles are going to collide. I was riding on on of the tricycle. Everything's too fast. Luckily, I just got a big, bloody wound on my feet. Although it's very painful, I still thank God that the tricycle moved very fast and prevented a nice, bloody accident.

I think my dream is somehow helped me because when I woke up from that dream, I prayed for God's protection. And yeah, I got a nice protection from Him.

I told him but he don't care..so sad..pain from the hearts hurts more than pain from the wounds...

Birthday Wish

My birthday wish
is to smile with you
with the light of the moon
and stars...

Moonlight

"The last light has gone out of the world, except This moonlight lying on the grass like frost Beyond the brink of the tall elm's shadow."

—Thomas, (Philip) Edward

ang hirap umiwas

New Me...Haha

Haha..Someday, my dreams will come true..I just have to wait and of course I have to survive in every thing that I will encounter...

Whatever...Hmmm...I'm excited to see what will happen to me...

Leaves are falling; I am rising..Haha...^^

Another day, Another life, New me....Moon Lover, Star Lover, Cloud Lover...^^

Yup, My life has just started and I'm sure starting now everything will be alright...I am living for God...Doing things to glorify Him...

Study Hard, Be a Good Girl, and Anything that I can do to glorify Him...

"Whether we live or die, it must be for God rather than ourselves..."

-Romans 14:7

Yep, haha...I am doing my best...Hmmm...^^